"I sink, last time you go to my place, I'll serve kitchen roast"
"Tomorrow I had sought of calling you"
"My sister sanked you very much, he was very glad that you come"
"Please join me for dinner, yesterday afternoon OK??"
Pondering over these statements??? You wouldn't, if you're in China for a considerable length of time. A discourse on Chinglish, I thought, would serve dual purpose - useful for people travelling to China, and for the Chinese people, if willing, to correct themselves. Now the Chinese guys may shoot back, we don't want to learn Chinese by some jaded little Indian, who himself cannot speak good English, we've got lot of good books. Well my point here is, I'm not trying to teach you guys, so called, Good English. At the same time, I'm trying to point out, not even correct, some of the mistakes that you guys often make.
The first obvious observation that a foreigner make is the replacement of "TH" by "S". This is replaced universally, without any exception.
Thanks - Sanks
Thinking - Sinking
Thought - Sought
Nothing - Nosing
Three - Sree
Author - Ausor
I remember, quite often, I've told my close Chinese friends, you guys have sank so deep that you can never float.
Once I had been out with one of my female colleagues, and she invited me to her place for checking out her DVD collection, finally when taking leave she says, in a very feeble voice, "Sanks". You know how that would have sounded for an antsy, debauched guy like me. I said "Pardon me", she again says "Sanks". I was getting more and more restless, finally the fourth time she said "Sank you", I grasped it, bid her goodbye and left.
The teacher in salsa class, rhythmically says "One two sree, one two sree, one two sree!!!"
Chinese are very bad when it comes to genders. No matter what sex, they address by a unanimous "HE". You would not believe, sometimes I had to correct my friends thrice, back to back, in a single sentence. Sister, mother, girl friend, aunt, niece - everybody has the same pronoun, "HE".
My friend gave me a brilliant idea once. He said, instead of just correcting them, he asked me to say "Hey you said HE when talking about your sister? Back in India, for girls we say SHE and for boys HE". I tried this once and my friend got slightly offended.
Another blatant mistake is the usage of COME and GO. When you invite a person, you always say "Please come to my place", but Chinese say "Please go to my place". I've tried to explain this case with umpteen examples, but all those efforts were in vain.
They get erratic and confused between TOMORROW and YESTERDAY; NEXT and LAST; CHICKEN and KITCHEN; LUNCH and DINNER. If there is any valid reason why they are unable to speak proper English, its their reluctance to speak English. At the same time, they do not have good reason to speak English, the language support is so well established, that English, absolutely is not a necessity but a luxury for them.
Please do correct me, if I make mistakes, when speaking for I have been under Chinglish influence for two winters.
