Friday, August 24, 2007

The man who knew too much

No no no!!! This is not a glorified review of Hitchcock's suspense movie. It is about the recent interview we had with Mr. I-know-it-all (name changed). It was a technical interview with the motive of hiring him. Let me start by his resume, after seeing his resume, I was wondering if there is anything in this world that he does not know. Here is his resume, I swear by its verbatism, may the good lord strike me dead even if there is slightest deviation from the original.

Note: Excepts from interview are given below the resume

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OBJECTIVE
Seeking a challenging Metrology Lab Coordinator/Test Engineering Specialist Position, and/or develops and design a Testing Software and hardware also metrology software, focusing in customer service, for a automotive high-tech. consumer products or Metrology company.

TEST METROLOGY AND DEVELOP SKILLS
  • 7 years experience including: English 90% Electronics Analog, Digital RF, Coordinate of Lab Operations, development, training, repair, calibration, GR&R, measurement uncertainty analysis, and test uncertainty ratio analysis of, Electrical Measurement DC & Low frequency, Radio Frequency, Termocouples, dimensional, analog and degital radio communication, wireless personalities, (CDMA, IS-95, IS-2000, W-CDMA, TDMA, GSM/GPRS, BLUETOOTH, WLAN, WI-FI), and general purpose test equipment and standards,
  • Technical Personnel Handling And New Grade Training Engineers
  • Develop and design of manual and automated measurement systems together with the related documentation, software, uncertainty analysis, and calibration procedures.
  • Perform manual and automated tests and perpare reports of calibration and other reports of instruments performance
  • Development of metrology databases.- Development Accreditation and maintenance of ISO/IEC 17025:2005 Quality System.
  • Maintain and monitoring conditions of facilities and workspaces in a condition approrpiate to an industry leader in metrology.
  • GUM (NIST 1297/EA4) Measurement uncertainty analysis experience.
  • Experience on Aperto Networks PM 100 Antenas.

MAINTENANCE SKILLS:
  • Electronic, refrigeration, mechanical and pneumatic equipment, preventive and corrective maintenance electronic diagrams reading.
  • Work Under Pressure

SOFTWARE DEVELOPS SKILLS:
  • Fluke MetCal procedure development (Up to 100 Procedures developed)
  • SQL, Access, databases develop and maintenance
  • Crystal reports develop
  • LabView 8.2, TestStand Software Platt form Develop an Automated Tests Software To Production Line GIPB and RS 232 Platform
  • Visual Basic 6.0 Software Platt form
  • AutoCAD
  • Orcad Electronic PCB Diagrams, Simulation and Layout Software
  • Temperature Chambers Profile Develop Applications Watlow F4, Thermotron 2800 & 3800 Series

KEY QUALIFICATIONS: High Frequency:
  • Power Meters
  • Power sensors
  • CW Generators
  • Sweep Generators
  • Spectrum Analyzers
  • Vector Signal Analyzers
  • Radio Communication Analyzers Anritsu MT8802B, Rhode & Schwarz CMU 2000 Agilent Technologies 8960 Series 10 E551A, E5515C, Applications E1962B, E1968B, E1987B
  • Demodulation and Modulation Generations of digital wireless signals, TDMA, CDMA, CDMA 2000, BLUETOOTH, GSM GSM/EDGE, 1EVDXO, WLAN
  • Network Analyzers S-Parameter 8753ES 8712ET
ELECTRICAL DC & LOW FREQUENCY:

  • FLUKE 5520A Calibrators
  • 8.5 Digit Digital Multimeters
  • Data Acquisitions
  • DC Power Supplies
  • Electronic Loads
  • Shunts
  • Oscilloscopes
  • Resistance Standards
  • Audio Analyzers
  • Temperature Profilers
  • Temperature Chambers
  • Arbitrary waveforms generators
  • Megaohmeters
  • LCR
  • RF LCR
TEMPERATURE:
  • Termocouples C, E, J, K, L, N, R, S. T, U
  • Temperature Chambers Test Develop Thermotron Test Equity
DIMENTIONAL:
  • Micrometers
  • Deep Gauges
  • Verniers
  • Block Gauges
  • Thickness Gauges
  • Coordinates Machines, Optical Comparators, Mitutoyo Quick Vision, Cyberoptics, Suburban Tool
MASS:
  • 0 TO 10 KGS 0.001 resoultion Scale Systems, Load Cells
TRAINING:

  • UNCERTAINITY
  • METROLOGY FOR TECHNICIANS
  • CAL LAB MAGNAMENT
  • METCAL METROLOGY SOFTWARE
  • LABVIEW 7.0 BASICS & INTERMEDIATE
  • 8960 SERVICE TRAINING
  • RF BASIC MEASUREMENT
  • GSM
  • GSM/EDGE
  • WIMAX
  • SIX SIGMA GREEN BELT
  • TS16949
  • ISO/IEC 17025:2005
  • 7 BASIC QUALITY TOOLS
  • ESD BASIC
  • ESD CONTROL
  • TS16949
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After seeing this impressive resume we sort of decided that it'll be a great idea to hire him. He can not only just serve in our team, but can maintain the refrigeration systems in office and in case, your micro-oven or refrigerator fails at home, he can help us out to fix them.

Excerpts from interview:

Me: Do you have any idea of GSM protocol stack layers?
I-K-I-A: Well at this point of time, I don't remember a thing about it, I just know its got somethin to do with some bits of data and some headers and all this technologies are multilayered and the mobile sends signal to radio base and radio base authenticates the mobile and communication happens. You know I have 7 long years of experience *chuckle chuckle* and I have worked on this quite long time back, so at this point of time this is all I can say, but if need arises, I don't think its very difficult to learn.

Me: What is the maximum data rate that could be attained in W-CDMA?
I-K-I-A: If you see my resume carefully, I've just had a small training on W-CDMA and don't know in depth about it. But W-CDMA is anyway used only for data, I know more about CDMA-2000 since that is what is used for voice.
*Sigh*

Me: Do you know what is device pairing in Blue tooth?
I-K-I-A: At this point of time, I cannot answer your questions, but I've worked on big brands like Ericsson and Nokia which has blue tooth connectivity.


Ben: What parameters could be changed in Agilent 8960?
I-K-I-A: OK, let me give you a brief introduction about 8960. It is a very modular device, you just need to unscrew it and load cards which has different functionality. .............................20 long minutes of Agilent introduction.............Yeah and that's how it works!!!

Ramos: Do you have any experience in C programming?
I-K-I-A: I have done it during college days only, but I don't think it should be so difficult for me to learn.
*Gasping for breath*

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