Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Murphy's Law...QED

Kal is a good friend of mine, she is one of those few who belongs to beauty with brains category. This is her disastrous pie making story, which I could have gastronomically titled "A bad textured cheese pie" or a vengefully rhyming one "The sick guy who tasted my pie". But as the story proceeds, the chosen title starts making a whole lot of sense.

Kal has congenital generosity of cooking for others, though she does not cook for herself, she is ever ready to cook for others. Out of the blue she gets the idea of making Cheese pie for this guy. The foremost hindrance was she didn't have the most essential appliance to make pie - The Oven. In this western world, finding an oven was a chicken soup - friends, neighbours, colleagues or comrades - atleast one of them should be able to lend, thought Kal.

She drives straight to David's place and requests him to use his oven, but slothful David asks her to procrastinate her idea.

Pissed off with David, she calls up Tomas and asks for it, but Tomas suffering from postpartum depression, was going out and he couldn't lend.

She calls up Jose, and to her luck Jose had the oven and was working too. Jose picks her up, they both goto supermarket, get the required ingredients and head to Jose's place. She prepares pie crust, pie dough, everything is set, she just has to place it in the oven and bake. But as usual, Mr. Murphy's spirits start playing around the oven and they're unable to even open the oven. Handle wouldn't budge, Jose's plying skills worked, after long and tiring effort the knob finally loosened. They lit the fire, to preheat the oven. Jose kept trying with all his might, ended up breaking the oven handle. The fire was put off and there was smoke all over, Kal found something like a paper stuck in the back of oven, she pulls it out and finds its not paper, but a dead rat!!! The whole episode of bringing oven to a working condition was a grand failure. Jose still didn't want to send Kal without baking the pie, all the required doughs and mixtures were ready in the recipient waiting to get cooked. His attempt to borrow oven from, not one, not two but six different neighbours were in vain.

Disturbed, disgusted (by the rat) and depressed Kal calls up David and asks him to stop being a lazy ass. Knowing that it is useless to argue with women, David allows her to use his oven. Jose and Kal start in Jose's car, which again had Murphy's spirits. Half way through, Jose's car breaks down on Garza Sada (one of the busiest avenues) blocking the traffic, causing chaos. Kal sends SOS to David. David appears there in no time, and they drove to David's place.

Kal was glad to see a clean and organized kitchen at David's place, as though its a brand new kitchen. She put the pie mixture into the bowl, placed it in the oven meticulously and ignited the oven. She set the flame to maximum and was disappointed to see a tiny flame which would have taken week long time to bake the pie. The oven at David's place was conked-off.

Kal was closer to getting crazy and start crying. David sympathized her and tried calling his friends, but to his surprise none responded. Calls to neither mobile phones nor landlines were responded and David thought people are having a weekend long sex or something. Cursing her fate, Kal tried Brenda's number. Brenda, the kind hearted pretty lady assured, rather promised that her oven worked fine. Kal arrived at Brenda's place and what the ...!!! Oven worked, pie was baked and Kal was on 9th cloud.

She drives home, hit the shower and takes the pie to that special guy. Narrating her sorry story about the pie, she eagerly waits for pearls to fall from his mouth, about the pie. With utter blandness the guy says "It tastes OK, but lacks texture". Kal feels like getting one of those Hattori Hanzo swords and slicing, chopping, ripping, cutting, hacking his head.
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