Friday, September 28, 2007

A Pleasant Spam

Spams are not always that disgusting, nauseating and worthless. It's not always about Viagra, international investments, po*n subscriptions or free games. Sometimes it maybe as pleasant to read as this one:

Good day, my gentleman

I am writing to you because I can't be lonely any more... Recently I understood that I can't breathe freely because I don't have a loving man near me who will support and protect me every day and to who I will present all the love and tenderness I have! With me you will see coziness and comfort in your house, you will feel love and care every day... I want to be the best wife... Let's correspond... If you wish to, please see me here http://russianbridehome.info/?idAff=101

Looking forward to hear from you
Juliya P


My reply to Juliya:
Sorry Juliya, looks like you are suffering from Asthma or terminal bronchitis. You don't need me, you should consult a good doctor.

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Dairy plans in Infosys

This blog has nothing to do with my writing skills or creativity. The only effort I've put here is to type this introduction, do a Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V in the blogger window, change the font color for readability and tag the blog. Don't forget to read it from bottom to top!!!


From: Anirban Mookherjee
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 4:59 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
RE: Can we have better coffee vending machines?


Yes certainly they should have, as infy is a global company!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Perhaps after tasing the coffee and tea here the client might want to outsource their coffee and tea facility to Infy



From: Kartik Krishnamurthy
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 4:53 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
RE: Can we have better coffee vending machines?

wil our dear cows /buffaloos........................................etc hav onsite oppurtunities as they wud surely want to know this in the interview...............


From: Archana Amperayani
Posted At:
Fri 1/20/2006 4:44 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?

Ba-Ba Moo-Moo - ROTFL


What will the grazing grounds signboards say in that case? "Milking in progress, No mooing please?"
And will the cattle stock be taught to read these
K

Thanks and Regards,

Archana.


From: Shatadip Som
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 4:40 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?


Yes we need to have very strict selection criteria so that only quality cows/buffaloes/camels/goats/sheep/llama/elk/elephants etc. are recruited for milking.

1)
Should have consistently high 'milkademic' performance. Should have given more than or equal to 10 litres/day in the past.
2)
Should have high 'dungamatic' quotient. Should not have passed dung on the premises more than 3.4 times per 1000 days.
3)
Should be good team players and not kick the milkman while milking.
4)
Should meet deadlines and allow milking at late-hours and night-shifts too for the foreign clients.
5)
Should have no communication skills else can disturb the employees by ba-ba/moo-moo etc.


-----Original Message-----
From:
Ankit Singh Chauhan
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 4:19 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:


Can we have a separate DC for their Training n production?

"Production People" - no they would called "Production Animals"

N they hv separate recruitment policy.

Can any one suggest their minimum criteria?


Ankit Singh Chauhan
Software
Engineering
Communication Service Provider

Infosys-Bangalore( India)

(
- 91-8 0-41564013
3
- 91-80-28520261
Mob - 91- 9
986139803
:*
AnkitSingh_Chauhan@ infosys.com


From: Ankur Sharma
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 4:14 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?


Ya...and that will make devegowda happy too
J

Ankur..


From: Chandan Chatterjee
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 4:12 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:



Can the milking of the cows, buffaloes and goats be outsourced since it's not a core competency that Infy enjoys ?


From: Anirban Mookherjee
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 4:11 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?


Yes thats true.


As cars or two wheelers are no more allowed inside the campus and the golf carts are only for the clients the ones who do not know cycling can use kangaroos for quick transportations from one place to another withing the campus.


From: Santhosh S Damle
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 4:03 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?

Yes, 'Photo ID Card' is necessary!

Or we would need dogs if the animals look too similar for security guys to identify.

Baggage check is not in question right now, but may be some day, if we have plans to allow Kangaroos for some reason.
J

SSD


From: Anirban Mookherjee
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 3:53 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?



Will the goats, buffaloes, cows and other animals have to follow the dress code????????? And will they have permanent ID card???????/ After all security was questioned by one of us!

I think having ID cards will help ensure better security. + the dress code will make them look more professional


From: S Sriram
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 3:43 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?

Guys ............. It was started with cow. Then people added buffalos and goats to the list. Check if anything else is missed out ( if its milk is useful or it is useful in someother way) before sending the suggestion to the concerned dept / authority.


From: Anirban Mookherjee
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 3:26 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Re:Can we have better coffee vending machines?


No need to buy the vending macines as CCD will provide them on loan I guess. Now coming to the goats/cows/buffaloes we have to purchase them, now the question is how many???? Should all building have one of each or should one building have only one animal?/? That is the point we have to decide on.

As far as the plantation goes I think the golf course is used no more, so we can have a tea and coffee plantation over there. After all its about tea or coffee so we need the main ingredient fresh!!!!! isnt it????????


From: Nitin Chaganlal Jain
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 3:14 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Re:Can we have better coffee vending machines?

Now we have to decide whether should buy Vending machines or milk giving animals like Cow/buffalo/Goat?


Regards,

Nitin Jain C.
ES-Oracle Practice,Blr.

Extn #: 60749, Mobile #: 9845195968


From: Amarpal Singh Sanghera
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 3:12 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?


What if some buffalo turns out to be a LeT operative ?


From: Archana Amperayani
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 3:09 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?


No!
If you want I can sign a petition online beseeching the authorities to allow cows, buffaloes and good coffee vending machines in Infy....
That's the MAX I am willing to do
J

Thanks and Regards,

Archana.


From: Anirban Mookherjee
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 2:55 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
RE: Can we have better coffee vending machines?


I think Archana is the one who might arrange for the goats!!!!!!! (No offences meant) :-)

Can anyone make the arrangements for the cow and buffaloes please?

Also the tea and coffee plantations!!!!!!!!1

;-)


From: Sunil Kamat
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 2:50 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
RE: Can we have better coffee vending machines?


Who is Archana? Is it a goats name??




Regards,

Sunil Kamat

Software Engineer | Infosys Technologies Ltd. | Bangalore

Extn: 63245 | Mobile: 91 99451 29390 | Direct: 91 80 515 63245


From: Rajesh Rawat
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 2:39 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:


Can we have explanations?


Rajesh Rawat

Infosys Technologies Ltd,

Bangalore
EMEA, UK Retails & CPG


From: Joyjit Guha
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 2:37 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?


I did not get this
L
Goats and then Archana are you listening?


From: Anup Narayan Talegaonkar
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 2:23 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?


Why don't we have goats too......?.
Archana are you listening?


From: Amarpal Singh Sanghera
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 2:14 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?


Can we also have buffaloes please ???
J


From: S Sriram
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 2:11 PM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
RE: Can we have better coffee vending machines?


I agree with you that milk powder is no substitute for actual milk. Similarly old milk is no substitute for fresh milk.


So how about having a cow and a decoction maker in each building, so that we can get a nice flavoured coffee.


From: Madhu Raghavendra Sagar
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 11:57 AM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:


Yes please...both tea and coffee taste really horrible...the milk powder is no substitute for actual milk.. what with all kinds of bugs coming out of the machine too!

It would be really nice to have something like what is suggested below.


From: Nitin Chaganlal Jain
Posted At:
Friday, January 20, 2006 11:45 AM
Posted To:
KEC General
Conversation:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have better coffee vending machines?


Hi,


Can we have better coffee vending machines in Bglr DC like other DC's? I remember we had got this Horlicks/Bornvita Vending machines in Hyd-DC (one per building) which lot of people out there has appreciated. Can we hope of getting similar ones in Bglr DC.


Regards,

Nitin Jain C.
ES-Oracle Practice,Blr.

Extn #: 60749, Mobile #: 9845195968

Basant Jain
ACI Worldwide (India) Bangalore
Quality Test Engg.
TEL : +91-080-6616-5219
Mobile : +91-9986278291
FAX: +91-080-6616-5339
E-mail: basant.jain@aciworldwide.com

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Thursday, September 27, 2007

An ordinary day...

After scribbling pages together on all the weekend escapades and adventures, I felt like giving a glimpse of how an ordinary day looks like, here in Monterrey.

Life starts at wee hours of the morning.
The alarm clock in the laptop irritatingly buzzes at 5:15, after a couple of snoozes, I wake up at 5:30.
The Herculean task I ever do in a day is waking up. Seriously!!!
My mind commands, sleep. My heart requests, swim.
At times, my mind defeats the heart and I find the warm pleasure in slumbering back. But most times, thankfully, my heart is stronger.
I grab the keys of my roomie's sexy, speedy, sporty Honda CBR.
Many neighbours would curse me for igniting that mean machine at that wee hours.
Yeah!!! it roars loud and for me the very sound of opening the throttle gives an eternal, blissful high.
A high speed adrenaline rush at early morning is more divine than listening to M.S. Subbalakshmi's Suprabhata or 108 gayatri mantra.
The Miguel Aleman stretch till deviation towards Concstitucion is safe for pushing the bike, if not to its limits, atleast to 130 kmph beating shit out of most cars. After that there are too many signals and road is slightly spotty and scratchy, the speed is drastically slowed.
I guess I'm one and only person on this earth to drive CBR with a pair of Reebok floaters and Adidas Climalite long sleeve. If it's true, I deserve a mention in some book of records.
An hour long swimming under the coach's strict instructions.
The return journey is way too slow in comparison with onward journey, due to heavy traffic and sometimes moves at snail pace in case of collision.

A quick shower.
You don't need to ponder over what to order for breakfast...akki idli, rave idli, masala dosa, khaali dosa, khara bath, avalakki, bisi bele bath, vangi bath...
No!!! It's just a binary choice - either Bimbo bread or Nestle fruit-ring cereals. Sometimes with eggs, fruits or juices (We eagerly wait for Fridays for a tacos breakfast in close proximity to our colony).
Have a chat with parents and some friends during and after breakfast. The same talk everyday...what did you eat for dinner? what will you eat for lunch? what are u having for breakfast? how is the weather today? how was swimming?
A long and tiring walk* for 2 minutes to office (Yeah!!! The house and office are separated by just a street).
*A slight variant of this would be, we either kayak or swim to office when it rains. Avenue Sepulveda transmogrifies magically into Rio Sepulveda. It's recommended for swimming learners since the water is just knee deep.

An elevenses at 10:30.
Lunch break at 1:00.
Most times we drive to nearby "cheapie restaurantes" else we have previous day's sambar and curry microwaved to an unbelievable freshness.
A tiny siesta if we gourmandize at home.
3:30 another lousy coffee break.
Spanish classes at 5.
Hurray back home at 6:30.

Drool over the nice golden yellow sunlight of the evening (Thats the photographer in me talking).
Repent for not having a car yet. Don't ask me if repenting a routine too? For, it is.
Practice some guitar riffs with volume knob on amp set to almost full, hoping for some chick to fall for it. No luck yet!!!
Start cooking.
Have a peg of whatever is available...usually Tequila, Vodka, Rum or Whiskey.
Edit/upload photographs if new ones are taken else read/give comments to others.
Respond to few chat buzzes.
Food is ready by 8:30.
Dinner time!!!
Eat a little bit of whatever is cooked.
Take a short stroll if eaten more.
Laze around on the bed.
Time for Jazz!!! Time for Duke Ellington, Louis Armstrong, David Sanborn, Joe Sample, Marcus Miller, Lee Ritenour, Eric Clapton to appear on my VLC player.
Read a few pages of "Is Paris Burning?", which is moving at snail pace.
Put the Apple to sleep and then myself.

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Signs of old age

We keep pulling Neto's legs calling him old and lazy. But he proved that he is old during one of the recent interviews we had. As a consequence, his brain cells have greatly slowed down and the processor in his brain always fetches data from wrong address.

We were interviewing this new guy who wanted to know more about the projects here in Mexico. I, as usual, described the project with all the fancy words in this world to give an impression that we are doing THE job on this planet. Neto felt that I was missing few elements about the other projects.

Neto: "Errrrr.....there is some development goin on too in the other group, one on...errr...Symbian and other on errrrr Linux. There are two processors one for the hardware, AMR errr...AMD damn...I forgot the name of the other one....errr...the one that handles all the codecs...CSD processor...err no..."

Post-interview

Me: Hey what were all those processors?
Neto: Damn I couldnt get the names of those man...I wanted to say ARM and DSP....damn I knew AMR is a codec and AMD is a competitor of Intel....Shit!!!

Human eggs

Me, S, L and J were having a discussion on eggs and S and J were flaunting the biological IQ they had in surplus.

S: Do you have any idea what bird's egg is the one which is slightly darker than the normal eggs?
Me: Not sure, I think it's from a different breed of poultry or worst case it may be of ducks.
S: No duck's eggs are similar to chicken's, I thought it was of pigeon or something.
L: But you could have tried it no?
S: Ayyyyyo ammma!!! No man. You don't know what these Mexicans eat, it may be eggs of human beings also.
Me: (To add to more fun) Yeah, Mexicans may eat human beings' eggs too and it may be tasty.
J: (very seriously) No but do you know, only females give out eggs not the males!!!

Monday, September 24, 2007

A Swimming Marathon, 12 hours long

No I didn't swim for 12 long hours, I would be a dead man by this time had I done so. Swimming marathon works this way, there is a team of certain 8 members and they had to keep swimming in turns for 12 hours without any break in between. And fortunately I was part of such a team and the experience was a memorable one. Read on to find out...

The marathon was held at Casino Del Valle (read it Casino del vaye), sports club on avenue Gómez Morín at San Pedro. I was the first one to arrive at the pool, the morning was extremely pleasant, the mild golden yellow light lit the whole area. The pool was 50 meters long and was nicely embellished by withered leaves of the neighboring trees here and there. On one side there was an elevated place which housed many trees and served as our shelter for the whole day, the other side had the stall giving out free Gatorade and fruits; the toilets were behind the stall. My team members arrived and soon there was a roll call of the team and our coach chalked out a quick plan. The crowd started building and at 8:00AM sharp the marathon started.

Let me explain in detail how swimming marathon works, for the uninitiated. There is no target distance to be covered. The team has to continuously swim for 12 hours, the plan to achieve this has to be worked out by the coaches, there is no restriction of any kinds. Ours was a team of 7 members and our coach had to chalk out an intelligent plan for we were short of 1 member for equally dividing 12 hours. We had to swim for 15 minutes continuously in turns, so approximately every 75 minutes we used to get our turns. After 6 such turns, he changed the strategy. He made us swim 100 meters each in turns till the marathon came to end, but rapidly, to gain more distance.

There were about 5-6 teams in 2 categories (based on age). Our team performed well and at mid-day we were at third position. The 15 minutes swimming, though sounds less, is quite tiring due to the pressure you have. I've swam continuously for an hour, but this 15 minutes were more tiring than that. I swam 800 meters in my first turn, 700 m in second , 700 m in third, 800 m in fourth, 800 m in fifth and 700m in sixth turn. We kept binging on cookies, fruits, chocolates, nuts, salads and guzzling liters of juice for sustaining energy. During the breaks I read few pages of "Is Paris Burning?", met many interesting members of my team, talked to them, shared experiences, shared few jokes, taught few English words, learnt few Spanish words, cheered my comrades, got cheered by them. JBL speakers were pumping out pathetic reggae tone music.

At 6 as said earlier our strategy changed and all of us gathered near the pool and 100 m fast laps started which went on till 8:00PM. Suddenly the speakers, which till now played ugly reggae tone, started playing commentary of the soccer match between Tigres and Monterrey which, coincidentally, was held on the same evening. It grabbed more attention than the swimming itself and crowd which was silent till then, started screaming when goals were scored. As I started my second or third lap, I was so exhausted that even 100 m seemed to be so long. All the energy would be spent on first 50 m and the return was so damn tiring that I felt as though the swimming pool just got stretched infinitely. All of us were exhausted and hungry, we were most eagerly waiting for the digital clock to display a welcoming 8:00. Finally we heard "siete, seis, cinco, quatro, tres, dos, uno" and the clock was blinking 8:00. We all screamed and applauded. It brought an end to the 12 hours long swimming marathon. Our team had swam, in total, 34900 m and stood 4th. Approximately each of us had swam about 5 KM, that was my highest in a day.

We stayed back till the prizes were distributed for the winners. We were given a consolatory T-Shirt. As I walked back to the parking lot, I was just wondering how it would be to participate in 24 hours long marathon. Hmm...will wait for that!!!

Other related post: My first swimming competition