Saturday, May 09, 2009

ITP Bangalore

International Tech Park Bangalore, at a very first sight, is an awe inspiring concrete jungle with gigantic buildings enveloped by shiny blue tint glass panes, artificial waterfalls, lush malls selling stuff at exorbitant prices, proud and pitiable techies flaunting their laptops, cool gizmos and plasticky smiles, restaurants with diverse menus but bad food. Though it has the word Bangalore in it's nomenclature and google map shows it in Bangalore, it's no way located in or near Bangalore. It's a place where everyone, except the bricklayers, have made their fortunes - the builders, the investors, the employers and the employees.

Today was my virgin visit to ITPB and the experience, as expected, was not too pleasing. I took the BMTS vajra bus service from Vijayanagar, though it was air conditioned and dotted by few IT babes...one of them was smoking hot in her sloppy saree showing off her deliciously voluptuous curves...the journey was definitely not worth 2.5 hours of derrière resting. The bus driver, probably, loved his job so much that he took the longest possible route to reach ITPB from Vijayanagar. IPod kept pumping out heavy stuff in my ears and the book, Climb was advancing like a snail. I was in no mood for anything - music, book, babes or even for dozing off.

Since it was my first visit, I had to undergo the customary entrance procedure for getting the visitor's badge. The scene closely resembles a queue at a ration shop when kerosene is distributed or a queue at a public tap when water is supplied. Just that people were somewhat more polished and they were not calling names. When my turn came, the lady at the counter gamme a form to fill and with all gentlemanliness I requested her, "Can I borrow your pen please?" I don't know what was so offensive in that, she gave an ugly grimace and reluctantly handed over her pen, as though I was never going to return that pen again. She asked me for my mobile number, I told her I didn't have one. She asked me how to contact me in case I lose my card, I assured her that I would safeguard it and left, after surrendering my office badge.

My destination was "Discoverer" building. For the uninitiated, the buildings in ITPB are creatively named Discoverer, Navigator, Innovator etc. though nothing so creative happens inside. In the basement are located restaurants and the aforesaid mall, in the courtyard you find techies sipping their daily dose of caffeine and sniffing in tobacco to stimulate their numb brains. Then I enter the office and wish the known-few a "Good morning" with a smile and their response seemed to speak out, "We've lost everything in life and this sonna-bitch says good morning huh? Mind your own goddamn business!" Yeah! Seriously...few of them didn't bother to respond and few of them repeated my words not even looking at me.

And then the work started, we worked as though the sky is gonna fall the next moment, as though a bomb is gonna explode the moment we stop working, as though the client is gonna slaughter us if we don't send the report before 11:17:32, as though the manager is gonna go crazy if you don't answer his mail within 2.34 seconds of it's arrival!!! There is no compassion, no smile, no humanity, no greetings, no life - not a thing.

When I went out for lunch, I overheard a few conversations of the people around and the only thought that came to my mind was, "How lifeless are these mortals!!!" Let me brief give an excerpt of what I heard:

In the lift:
"Hey did you send your excel sheeta? That one which Mark was asking with daily IPT status?"
"No ya...after lunch I'm going to send that thing along with IT status also"

In the lobby (over the mobile):
"ICL is released...it had too many issues but still we're done with release Rashmi. Then Suresh chickened out to answer why it had too many issues and I got bashed up in the meeting. Yeah yeah, release is finally done...mainteance starts from next week"

In the lawn:
"Sad, I need to work this Saturday ya...I worked last Saturday too"

In the restaurant:
"When MAC recieves data blocks, it starts a timer"
"OK"
"And then it starts a counter too, to keep count of number of retries"
"Fine"
"Then it unpacks the data and processes it and pushes down to layer 1, but at the interface, we're having some problem. The pointer is getting corrupted."
"Damn...that's kinda difficult to debug right?"
"Lauterbach is driving me crazy"
"The curry is good na?"

In the pantry:
"This cell search algorithm is somewhat slow maga. It's lapsing some extra frames."
"Prashanth is acting real bossy huh! He was asking status every hour kano."
"DSP is responding too slowly and the CQ issues are being raised at the rate of Indian population"

In the loo:
"The W3T board is not booting man, the revision 2 variant is OK, but revision 3 is crashing"
"Did you try with Monday's build? The 18.9 one? I guess it should work fine on rev 3"
"I did, but it still had some boot issues"

To use the most cliched IT term, "By end of day" I was exhausted and depressed by this ITPB. It was too geeky, too boring, too not-my-kinds for me. I thought of tell every damn person "Get a Life!!!" There are too many nice things in life people...trust me. It's not just your customers, your deadlines, your releases, your boards, your databases, your issues, your mails, your computers, your technologies...think of your family, your friends, your passions, your hobbies, your health. I know none of the latter ones give you money, but I seriously suggest you guys to, atleast once a while, to get out of your work-is-everything mentality, talk about things more meaningful, more aesthetic and more lively. Try this out once...get out of ITPB at around 4, go home at sunset, if possible watch the sunset, go out for a short round of running or cycling or swimming, have a nice dinner with your family and hit the sac early...and tell me how it feels.
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