Monday, July 04, 2011

UID aadhar

Went to Vijaynagar post office this morning for getting documents verified, photographed, retina & finger print scanned...I must tell you it was one hell of an entertainment.

First of all I don't understand why this was held at post-office...poor officials at the post-office were so damn disturbed and distressed by this.  There was no proper communication to the public too...the ones who had come for document verification bypassed the queue for the ones who had come for submission and that irked many of them and we heard things like 
"We're in the queue since 5 in the morning, how come you overtake us?"
"Boss...I've not come for submission, I've come for document verification.  It's different"
"What different, we're here since 5 in the morning"
"If you want to fight come out lets fight"
"I don't want to fight, I'm trying to be your friend.  I've come for document verification it's a different queue"
"I came here at 5, you go after me"
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I heard one lady telling the officer in Kannada which verbatim translates "Saar you just take the application now...document is coming from home in 10 minutes.  Vonly 10 minutes saar"
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Then there were people whose family members were delayed, this guy was getting his thumb impressions and he saw his wife entering post office...he yelled at her looking out of the closed window "Le illi baare...yaake isht lateagi bandh saaytya?"  (Ley come here...why die by come so late?)...the lady at the counter went haywire when she saw the thumb impressions appear and vanish in a second.
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Then there was this poor old man who kept complaining nobody responded to his questions.  Finally one lady asked him what's his problem, he says "Nobody is listening to me".  She asked what does he want, he said "I'm old man, I can't stand in the queue, I need token now".  She just looked at her laptop and said to the next person in queue - "your turn" and with all due respect ignored the poor old man.  The old man whined as he walked out.
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Then this man yelled at the same lady "Yesterday you asked me to come at 10 and I came exactly at 10.  Now you say you don't have any applications".   She answered with her coolest self "Sorry saar, forms got over by 9:15 only, you come tomorrow at 10".   I swear he would have gone at 10 the next day!!!  He'll be the last person in India to get his UID. 
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This Marwadi guy who was totally in a hurry got all his things done and just when the lady pressed "save data" button the Windows crashed and he had to redo everything.  "Kya computer laga rakkhe hain yaha pe...hang hogaya saala...yeh government ka jo be item hota hain aisa hi hota hain!!!".  (What computer they've put...it hanged...all these government items will be like this!!! - as though Indian government made Dell laptops). There were a shower of cuss words by the people in queue.  I did curse too...damned Windows!!!  I so wished to see all those computers running Ubuntu!
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This lady submitted her document for verification, the officer asked her if she had driving license, she nodded negatively.  Then he asked if she had ration card, she said no.  Passport? No! Election card? No!  10th marks card? No!  Pan card? No!  The expression in his face said "Why the f#*@ are you here then?" but in a very polite way he said you're not eligible for UID card unless you have any one of the documents listed out in the poster outside.
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Then there was an over optimistic old man next to me.  My token number was 6 and his was 20.  I told him it may take well about 2 hours for his turn so he can relax outside.  With a toothless grin he told me "If there is nobody between 6 and 20, I can go immediately after you saar".  I said to myself "Hope is a good thing!"
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Then came another old pale lady with a hunch asking for application, the lady at the counter told another officer "Saar she has come here for application, it's over what to do?"  The officer without even looking at who's asking for it told her "Alle internet inda download maadkolakk helri!" (Ask her to download from internet).  The granny got out her Mac book air from her knapsack, plugged in her internet dongle, downloaded the application in a jiffy and fired the print through bluetooth to her super-slim printer..."NOT!!!"
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A housewife was asked to hold the biometric retina camera to get a shot of her retina.  Somehow she reckoned it to be a binocular or something and she held it pressed to her eyes and started looking through it.  The lady said "Madam adu binocular alla...kanninda swalpa doora itkond kann doddaagi bidi"  (Madam it's not binocular...keep it little away from your eyes and open your eyes wide)
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The data entering lady got confused with one of the forms and asked the person "Is it near Marenahalli or opposite to Marenahalli?".  The person said "anything madam, both are ok".   "How can it be OK ri?  Near is near and opposite is opposite".  "Ok madam nimge yen beko haaki, yella onde" (OK madam...whatever you prefer you type...it's all the same).

My one and half hour wait there never bored me even a little.
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