Sunday, April 17, 2011

Woody Allen Filmography

It all started with "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"!  I watched one movie of Woody Allen and I loved it so much that I decided at that very moment that I'm gonna watch his entire filmography and I really did it!!!   I've watched all 47 movies of Woody right from "What's new Pussycat" to "You'll meet a tall dark stranger",  most of them written and directed by him, some only acted by him and I must say I liked'em all.  This discourse is a glimpse of his movies.  

Woody Allen, according to me, is the most talented person I've ever come across.  This slender 75 year old New Yorker is a director, actor, playwright, comedian, author and jazz clarinetist!!! His movies mainly contain comedy and satire, love and freewill, simplicity and creativity, life of writers/artists, Jewish identity, mellifluous soundtracks and finally Woody's sublime acting.  "Wild Man Blues", the documentary of his European tour with New Orlean's jazz band inspired me, it's surprising how such a frail, small built, film-maker can make the clarinet sound so beautiful.  It gives a brief picture of his personal life with his wife Soon-Yi Previn and his parents.  I think he's one of those directors whose movies run better in Europe than in US, which is comically shown in his movie, "Hollywood Ending".  Just few days ago I finished seeing his latest movie "You will meet a tall dark stranger" and that completes the entire filmography of Woody Allen...right from his initial slapstick funny movies all the way to his latest movie.  Am now waiting for his next movie "Midnight in Paris" scheduled to be released sometime next year.

Below is list of all movies, I've watched and the list is big!  If you say, "I don't have time to watch all of them, gimme me 10 must-watch movies of Woody Allen", then here it is:
  1. Annie Hall (Comedy)
  2. Vicky Cristina Barcelona (Drama)
  3. Small Time Crooks (Comedy)
  4. Purple Rose of Cairo (Comedy)
  5. Love and Death (Comedy)
  6. Sweet and Lowdown (Drama)
  7. Cassandra's Dream (Tragedy)
  8. Deconstructing Harry (Comedy)
  9. Hollywood Ending (Comedy)
  10. Radio Days (Comedy)

Like I said it all started with "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" which is a story of two American ladies travelling in Spain and each of their perspective on love.  The movie's got beautiful visuals from Oviedo and Barcelona, most mellifluous flamenco music, lovely ladies like Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz and a beautiful story line.  The movies shows a striking contrast between the materialistic gringos and art loving Europeans.


Then the trend started off with his recent movies "Whatever Works" - a hilarious story of Boris Yelnikoff a cynical Nobel prize nominee in quantum physics.  A misanthropist by nature, he meets Melodie, a typical American simpleton who falls in love with Boris.  Melodie's mother falls for Boris' friend, Melodie falls for a film-star, Melodie's father falls for another man, Boris finally falls for a stranger on whom he literally falls out of the window - the movie has a series of intertwine complex relationships with typical Woody's humour and is a very entertaining one.



"Anything else" is a romantic comedy starred (in a supporting role) and directed by Woody Allen with Jason Biggs and gorgeous Christina Ricci.   I particularly liked the acting of Ricci in this movie, she is a metaphor of a typical complicated American lady  in the movie very capricious about her moods and relationship, while Woody acts as an adviser to Jason.



"Cassandra's dream" and "Match point" are two tragic movies set in UK.  The former starred by Colin Farrell &  McGregor get into a vicious circle by committing a murder for his uncle and eventually end up killing each other; the latter starred by Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Scarlett Johannson is a movie depicting love, luck, lust, betrayal and murder.  Both these are my favourite movies, Scarlett looks really hot in Match Point, a must watch for all her fans.




"Scoop" is a comedy plus thriller starred by Woody, Scarlett Johannson and the handsome hunk Hugh Jackman.  Again set in UK this movie exhibits Woody's creativity in bringing the dead reporter back to life and giving clues to the aspiring journalist Scarlett Johannson about a murder in London.  I like some of Woody's funny dialogues in this movie like these: "I see the glass half full, but of poison", "I was in the lounge, I heard you drowning, I finished my tea and scones and came immediately!" and many others.


Talking about his Early Funny Ones... definitely "Annie Hall" tops the list followed immediately by "Take the Money and Run" and "Bananas".  "Annie Hall" is the flagship movie of Woody Allen, one of his most successful movies (it bagged four academy awards) starring Diane Keaton and Woody himself.  The movie starts of with Woody's commentary and goes on to give an account of Diane's (Annie) and Woody's (Alvy) whimsical relationship, also giving an insight into their past lives and ultimately they realize that they can't reconcile due to their differences.  The specialty of the movie is that viewer is able to see each of their past lives with the present alongside.




"Take the money and run" makes you ROTFL through out the movie, starred by Woody as Virgil.  The whole movie is about Virgil's futile attempts to rob and funny ways in which he gets caught.  It's a hilarious movie and stupid at times, I highly recommend this movie those having problems with laughing.



"Bananas" is  an outrageously humourous movie shot in different parts of Latin America.  Woody gets rescued by revolutionaries and becomes a part of them by getting trained to be a revolutionary which is the funniest part of the movie, the humour may not appeal to all audience though.  This movie is a typical slaptstick movie with some parts being so  stupid that the the extent of stupidity itself will make you laugh - a scene in which a group of musicians are pretending as though they're playing an orchestra with no instruments in their hands and Woody says "Can you keep it down? My head is aching!"



In "Love and Death"  Woody is a frail Russian who's sent to army to fight the French.  This movie has some very deep philosophical conversations with a touch of comedy to it, especially conversations between Woody and Diane Keaton (Sonja).  It's yet another movie which guarantees fits of laughter among the viewers.  Here are few excerpts:
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Diane: Isn't nature incredible?
Woody: To me, nature is... I dunno, spiders and bugs and, big fish eating little fish.And plants eating plants and animals eating…It's like an enormous restaurant.

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Sergent: You! Get out here!
Woody Allen: You're the worst soldier I ever seen.
S: You ignorammus!
WA: Ignoramus, sir.
S: You want a dishonourable discharge?
WA: Yes, sir. Or a furlough.
S: Goddamn you!
WA: You love Russia, don't you?
S: Yessir.
S: You want to make a career in the army?
WA: Well, let's not get carried away.
S: You can clean the mess hall and the latrine!
WA: Yessir. How will I tell the difference?
S: OK.
S: (Orders to march) One, two! One, two! One, two!
WA: Three is next, if you're having any trouble.
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Countess: You're disgusting, but I love you.
WA: Well, my disgustingness is my best feature.
C: It must be lonely at the front.
C: How long has it been since you've made love to a woman?
WA: What's today? Monday, Tuesday...Two years.
C: Two years. You do remember how?
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"Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex" is a collection of seven hysterically funny stories each of them answering these questions:
Do Aphrodisiacs Work?
What is Sodomy?
Why Do Some Women Have Trouble Reaching an Orgasm?
Are Transvestites Homosexuals?
What Are Sex Perverts?
Are the Findings of Doctors and Clinics Who Do Sexual Research and Experiments Accurate?
What Happens During Ejaculation?     



"Sleeper" is sci-fi comedy movie started by the same famed "Annie Hall" couple, where Woody is frozen for 200 years and revived by scientists in future. The famous quote of the movie is about sex and death which goes like this:
DK: Oh, I see. You don't believe in science, and you also don't believe that political systems work, and you don't believe in God, huh?
WA: Right.
DK: So then, what do you believe in?
WA: Sex and death - two things that come once in a lifetime... but at least after death, you're not nauseous.



"New York Stories"is a collection of three stories one of which (Oedipus Wrecks) is written-directed-acted by Woody and that's the best and funniest of all three stories.  It's a story in which he loses his  annoying mother in a magic show miraculously and she appears on NY  skyline as a huge apparition ridiculing Woody about his bed-wetting habits and the likes.  I was having hilarious outbursts while watching the movie especially when he approaches Julie Kavner and she makes him do all the magical rites to get rid of his mother's incarnation.





His first movie as an actor is "What's new Pussycat?" and as a director is "Whats Up, Tiger Lily?"  The latter is an overdub of a Japanese movie and is the stupidest Woody Allen movie I've ever seen. "Play It Again, Sam" is another good comedy movie to watch where Woody parodies the ending scene of Casablanca.  Its one of those rare movies which is scripted and acted by Woody while directed by someone else.  Diane Keaton (his friend's wife) tries her best to get him a girl and eventually they fall for each other in the absence of his friend and finally separate.



"Interiors", "Another Woman", "September", fall on the other side of spectrum of Woody's movies.  All these are slow moving, relationship centric, dialogue prominent dramas.  "Interiors" is a story of a mother who's an extreme purist about aesthetics and her three daughters.  It's a very intense, touchy movie but slow paced and is not made for the masses. "September", shot in just one location, is a slow paced triangular love story with very less characters in the movie.  It is one movie which bored me a bit.


"Another Woman" is yet another slow moving poignant story of a woman writer with a not-so-good family life.  She overhears the conversation in the neighbouring psychiatrist's office and is particularly interested by an unknown lady's case whom she meets in the end.   Rilke's Archiac Torso of Apollo finally inspires her to change in the end: for here there is no place that does not see you. You must change your life. 


"Small Time Crooks" is one of my all time favourites and it's a must watch movie!  It's a lesson to be learned by all wanna be rich people worrying about social finesse.  It's a beautiful story of how a failed robbery leads to a multi-million cookie business and how a poor man's attempt to learn the lifestyle of the rich and famous fails miserably.  It's funny how Tracy Ullman, the rich owner of the cookie industry couple want to learn the mannerisms of the rich from Hugh Grant, and, Woody Allen, her husband want to stay away from all that and happy to be poor.  So she starts taking lessons about appreciating art, reading literature, tasting wine, party etiquette et al.  The movie is a humourous one and I particularly like these two scenes which I've described below
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After explaining about renaissance art and paintings in a museum to the couple...
Hugh Grant: So, you can see the difference between this Tintoretto...and the earlier Byzantine painting we looked at. What would you say is the most significant difference?
Woody Allen: Me? I would say that the frame's bigger here.
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There's a fraud in the company and the couple almost loses everything.  The bank guys are trying to explain, trained to be rich, Trace Ullman the scene...
Bank guys: Mrs. Winkler, you have nothing. No house, no bank account.  Just a couple of large, outstanding loans…which we feel you can best deal with by filing for bankruptcy.
Trace Ullman: Bankruptcy? Bankruptcy?  I'm not up to the "B" words yet. -Sorry.
 ------------------------------------------------------------


"The Purple Rose of Cairo" is yet another my all time favourite movie.  I was just blown by Woody Allen's creativity of bringing real-life and reel-life together.  Story line is something like this - a lower class film-loving lady in New Jersey likes the newly released movie in town called "The Purple Rose of Cairo" so much that she watches it five times and the fifth time a character in the movie starts talking to her and he walks out of the screen and goes out with her.  The whole movie industry is terribly confused, the movie is stalled with all characters blaming the escapist.  He falls in love with the lady and after a while the real character who has acted in the movie arrives in town and he meets her.  At some point she has to choose between the real character and the reel character, she decides to choose the former one and gets dumped in the end.  Beautifully made movie with a very poignant ending.  The very poster above says it all about the movie.



"Radio Days" is one of his most beautiful movies in which Woody has not acted but is a commentator, getting nostalgic about the music scene during his childhood days. The beauty of this movie is the way Woody Allen describes the music from which he draws inspiration...it's got some of 30's-40's music by some great artists like Duke Ellington, Glenn Miller, Guy Lombardo and others.  A simple movie with great music.



Yet another must watch for jazz lovers is "Sweet and Lowdown", a story of an eccentric jazz guitarist who reckons himself the second best, next only to Django Reinhardt.  Acted by Sean Penn, the protagonist of the movie has weird fantasies like stealing ashtrays and watching moving trains.  The movie contains some of the most beautiful jazz guitar licks.  Samantha Morton's acting as a mute lady is very poignant and praiseworthy.



"Mighty Aphrodite" is a comedy movie with the gorgeous Mira Sorvino in the role of a prostitute, porn-star and mother of a child which Woody Allen adapts.  When Woody and his child adapts the child and realize that the child is a prodigy, Woody gets curious to meet the mother of the baby and he eventually meets her.  Then he persuades her to give up prostitution and gets her to tell her story during which she reveals she had a child she gave up.  The movie guarantees loads of laughter and is highly entertaining.



"A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy" is a potpourri of relationships between three couples in a forest house.   Old relationships are rekindled and new relationships are formed and Woody is a nutcase inventor which makes the movie all the more funny.



"Alice", "Hannah and her sisters", "Husbands and Wives" are three typical Woody Allen movies, Mia Farrow being the common element, with revolving relationships and a touch of comedy.  "Alice" is an unsatisfied rich housewife who falls for another man, realizes her husband's had an extra-marital affair and the man to whom she falls goes back to his wife and in the end visits India and serves with Mother Theresa.  "Hannah and her sisters" is a story of three sisters, how different they are, how their lives change et al.  "Husband and Wives" is a Mia Farrow-Woody Allen movie, initially Mia becomes so disturbed by hearing the news of separation of a couple, their family friend, eventually in the end, Mia and Woody separates while the separated couple reconcile.



Another beautiful movie acted by Woody Allen but not directed by him (directed by Martin Ritt) is "The Front".  It's a very different movie that I've seen, Woody fronts all the blacklisted authors and makes a fortune.  Being completely ignorant about writing and literature he becomes one of the most celebrated writers and playwrights by fronting the pro-communism writers in USA.  While most blacklisted authors/artists are tortured to give out names and they either finally yield or commit suicide, Woody bravely says "You can all go fuck yourselves..." to the government and hails as a hero (though gets arrested).





"The curse of the Jade Scorpion" is yet another creative, humorous thriller movie.  Both Helen Hunt and Woody Allen are under the control of the magician who would have cast a jade scorpion spell on them during a magic show.  Though they hate each others faces during normalcy, they love each other when they're under the curse.  The magician hypnotizes  Woody to rob jewels for him and finally everything's revealed.  I just loved the way Helen Hunt and Woody Allen keep despising each other through out the movie.


"Deconstructing Harry" is one of his very creative movies wherein he describes his own story using various characters.  Harry (Woody Allen) is a eccentric, foul-mouthed writer hated by everybody - his wives, his mistresses, his family members. 



"Don't drink the water" is a comedy movie based on Woody Allen's play by the same name.  It's a hilarious story wherein this American family (Woody's family) escapes the communist police, enters the American embassy in an unnamed city in Europe and a bunch of funny incidents that happen there.  I particularly like the character of Walter (acted by Woody himself) and father Drobney, the priest in embassy.  I kept wondering how funny the play might have been...



"Bullets over Broadway" is an interesting story where the bodyguard of a gangster's girlfriend turns out to be a theater genius, correcting and improvising the protagonist's story God of our fathers.  It's a movie with the question whether to love the artist or the person?




"Scenes from a mall" is set inside a mall, a funny movie with both husband and wife confessing about their affairs on their anniversary day.  They break-up and make-up as capricious as the wind.  A glimpse of Salam Bombay on large screen is shown in the movie hall where the couple make love.  This one's again not directed or written by Woody Allen, he's just the protagonist.




"Manhattan", "Stardust Memories", "Celebrity", "Shadows and fog", "Broadway Danny Rose", "Zelig" have one thing in common.  They're all black and white movies.  "Manhattan" is about Woody Allen's relationship with a 17 year Meriel Hemingway and how he takes her love for granted, gives her up for Diane Keaton a snob whom Woody despises initially and  falls for her after they spend a night talking by the river side and  gets dumped.  He's also threatened by his divorced wife Meryl Streep about a book that she's writing about their marriage. 



"Stardust Memories" is one of Woody's best movies according to him.  It's a story of an extremely successful director always crowded by his fans and his relationship with two women.  It's a typical Woody Allen movie with elements like -  artist's life, capricious relationships, melodious jazz OST, satirical comedy etc.



"Celebrity"  is a star studded movie with biggies like Leonardo DiCaprio, Charlize Theron, Joe Mantegna, Winona Ryder, Kenneth Branagh and many more.  It's a story of a page 3 journalist whose life's full of ups and downs - flings & flirtations with celebrities, divorce with his wife, weird wacky professional experiences et al.



"Shadows and Fog" is a story in which a serial-killer is on the prowl in a foggy, low-lit town and vigilantes are on the look-out for the stalker and Kleinman (Woody) is one among them.   Mia Farrow and John Malkovich, who are part of the circus are having trouble; Mia wants a baby and Malkovich believes that "a family is death to an artist".  Mia ends up in a brothel when she splits from her boyfriend, she's soothed by the prostitutes and she sleeps with a students who pays her $700 to sleep with her.  Woody and Mia meet in police station, they stroll around feeling attracted to each other.  The mob thinks that Woody is the killer after finding the sherry glass with his finger prints in his pocket, he manages to escape the mob and finds himself in the same brothel.  An existential conversation on  love, death and God takes place between Woody and the student takes place.  In the end Woody ends up in the circus where the magician magically chains the serial killer but he manages to escape.   Its a very different Woody Allen movie that I've watched, it's a tribute to Kafka.



"Broadway Danny Rose"  is a movie in which Danny (Woody) is a talent manager and he risks his life when he goes to fetch the mistress (Mia farrow) of Lou Canova, the singer whom he manages, to a concert on the insistence of the singer.  The movie is funny one with typical Woody style of humour with a touchy ending.



"Zelig" is an amazing creation by Woody, it seems as though you're watching an old documentary on discovery TV when you watch this movie.  Zelig has been shot in a mockumentary style, there is a news-reel style narration going on and there are hardly any dialogues in the movie.  Zelig (Woody) magically transforms himself based on his surroundings - he transforms into a Red-Indian, a Chinese, a Nazi soldier and many more incarnations.  He gains international fame and is called the "Human chamelon".  Dr. Eudora Fletcher (Mia Farrow), tries to heal his illness and eventually falls for him.  The movie is a great entertainer and a must watch for those who love Woody's out-of-the-box creativity.



"Crimes and Misdemeanors" is a set of parallel stories of two men - one a successful ophthalmologist threatened by his mistress of revelation to his wife and second, a struggling film-maker who falls for his bosses' assistant but in the end she gets engaged to his boss.  The atheist ophthalmologist starts believing in God when he gets his mistress murdered and is still uncaught.  The film-maker gets an opportunity to cover is brother-in-law's life and work whom he despises.  Both these men meet in the end of the movie and converse philosophically.



"Manhattan Murder Mystery" features the good old couple Woody-Keaton, trying to solve a murder mystery in their neighbourhood.  The old lady is murdered by her husband who seems to be rather pleased without her and Keaton picks up subtle hints and solve the mystery.  The couple will undergo many funny adventures during the course of the movie.  Woody's acting is impressive in the movie who always wants to quit the game.  It's a light hearted movie without too much of philosophy or intense dialogues.



"Hollywood Ending" is a hilarious movie wherein Woody plays a role of director and suffers psychosomatic blindness while he's directing a movie offered by his ex-wife and her boy-friend.  He tries to hide his ailment with the help of his friends and continues to direct the movie which is a big flop.  Somehow due to it's artistic appeal, the movie is a big hit in France and Woody gets back his wife and they goto France in the end where in Woody says "Thank God the French exist".



The uniqueness of "Everyone says I love you" is the fact that it's the only musical movie of Woody.  It's again a star studded movie with actors like Drew Barrymore, Julia Roberts, Tim Roth, Natalie Portman and Wood Allen himself.  It's a beautiful movie with loads of mush and romance, a family movie sorts, set in NY, Paris and Venice.   



Two stories, one tragic and one comic, run together in the movie "Melinda and Melinda", the protagonist in both the stories is same, Melinda (Radha Mitchell).  The movie is a typical Woody Allen movie with complex relationships, love and betrayal, confused souls. 




"You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger" is Woody's latest movie and it somehow reminded me of "Melinda and Melinda".   There are multiple love stories running, Antony Hopkins wanting to Lucy Punch, Naomi Watts (wife of Josh Brolin) needs love from Antonio Banderas, Josh Brolin falls for Freida Pinto, Lucy Punch sleeps with her personal trainer, Gemma Jones loves the bookshop keeper, Antonio Banderas is having affair with another woman...complications and more complications!

This website is a great resource for Woody Allen fans, it's got movies, OSTs, jukebox, cartoons and quotes: http://woodyallenmovies.blogspot.com/
  1. What's New Pussycat?
  2. What's Up, Tiger Lily?
  3. Take the Money and Run
  4. Bananas
  5. Play It Again, Sam
  6. Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)
  7. Sleeper
  8. Love and Death
  9. The Front
  10. Annie Hall
  11. Interiors
  12. Manhattan
  13. Stardust Memories
  14. A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy
  15. Zelig
  16. Broadway Danny Rose
  17. The Purple Rose of Cairo
  18. Hannah and Her Sisters
  19. Radio Days
  20. September
  21. Another Woman
  22. New York Stories
  23. Crimes and Misdemeanors
  24. Alice
  25. Scenes from a Mall
  26. Shadows and Fog
  27. Husbands and Wives
  28. Manhattan Murder Mystery
  29. Bullets Over Broadway
  30. Don't Drink the Water
  31. Mighty Aphrodite
  32. Everyone Says I Love You
  33. Deconstructing Harry
  34. Wild Man Blues
  35. Celebrity
  36. Sweet and Lowdown
  37. Small Time Crooks
  38. The Curse of the Jade Scorpion
  39. Hollywood Ending
  40. Anything Else
  41. Melinda and Melinda
  42. Match Point
  43. Scoop
  44. Cassandra's Dream
  45. Vicky Cristina Barcelona
  46. Whatever Works
  47. You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Suwon si

Suwon si, where the headquarters of Samsung lies and where Indians rate very next to Koreans in terms of population, is the city I stayed for 40 days (the worst 40 days of my stint in my current company).  This city is the capital of Gyeonggi-do province and is located about about 40km south of the country capital, Seoul. Since I had to work for Samsung, I lived in this city in the  Royal  Family Indian Guest House, though there was nothing really "Royal" about it but the prices are indeed on the "Royal" side.

I'm actually not the right person to write about this city, coz in all 40 days I stayed, I got 2 days break during which I explored Seoul (Part I and Part II).  I got another 1 day (half day each on 2 different days) to explore some places in the city.  I felt the city is a pensioner's paradise (Bangalore's got that misnomer somehow) - there's not much traffic, no pollution, not much noise, there are parks every few meters with exercising equipments I had seen in China, a very laid back culture, shops open late and close early, innumerable coffee/beer houses.

But we were so damn busy with our work that for first few days we didn't know anything other than Hyowon-ro, the road from our guest house to Samsung office.  The only lively place on the road was a plaza which had whole lot of restaurants both Korean and western, coffee houses, convenience stores, norabans (karaoke bars where in you shell out $20 to sing with a girl), beer-and-fried-chicken bars.  I particularly liked "Garten" beer bar which had small refrigerator bowls which would keep your beer colder.  We also tried out many small restaurants which neither had English menu nor photographs, we used to order our food by "eena meena mina mo" or seeing food on other tables and saying "that one".

Korean food is pretty palatable for Indian tongues provided you can digest all creatures.  Koreans love octopus, you can find it a tentacle here or a head there or if it's a baby octopus, the whole small thing could be found among the hot noodles soup or other sea-food dish.  All food is accompanied by radish pickle and kimchi (the national dish of Korea made of cabbage, garlic, chillies and other spices).  I tried quite a lot of Korean dishes I don't know any names, except "Bulgogi", which is the traditional Korean beef barbecue.  I tried some very delicious mixed rice, rice and curry, batter fried pork fillets and chicken wings, cold noodles with spicy sauce, hot yummy noodles in soup, burgers, pizzas and pastas, delicious dumplings with pork and kimchi, hot fish bread with kimchi filling and what not!


There is Gallerias, a super posh shopping mall selling branded clothing, electronics, sports equipments, exotic food etc.  Near that there's Kim's Club, yet another shopping mall, HomePlus a bustling supermarket and HiMart, an expensive (compared to Yongsan market in Seoul) electronics market.  There are many restaurants and bars near here, a good place to take a walk since there's more life here than near the Indian guest house.

On the penultimate day, I got a chance to visit Hwaseong palace, for a short while.  I took 62-1 bus from our guest house and alighted right in front of the Hwaseong palace, a UNESCO heritage site.  Realizing that all palaces look pretty much the same for my eyes I didn't bother to enter the palace, instead took the steps that led to the hill top behind the palace.  The view of Suwon city from the top of the mountain is quite impressive - Suwon station, Suwon first church, skyscraper residential complexes, the aerial view of palace et al.  As I was busy clicking photographs, I get a call from office "LCML error reoccurring, very critical, get back to office immediately!!!".  The worst part is, after 5 minutes of receiving this call, the battery goes dead!!!.